My commute to work has changed, but not that much. Moving within the same neighborhood can also mean a different train line. Bushwick has about 3 of them, and I´ve used them all to get to work at some point. But, every part of the neighborhood has their beloved subway station. Ironically, I´ve used both train lines that spell out my name.
Similarly like my route to work has changed, so has my role at work also changed, but ever so slightly. To my relief, or dismay, however one may take it, there is less oversight on the work that I do. LFG! Or, WTF?
Some days I feel as if I have taken the sword out of the stump, breezing through work as if I was careening through a wormhole to take me to the year 3000 (everything has changed, we don´t live underwater, and the $2,000 stimulus was actually given). Other days I feel jaded, under the all too familiar guise of what the reality of being an entry level worker in an industry that has never, and will never, go out of business.
On the way home last night, one of my coworkers, who is surprisingly my age and takes the same train to and from work, engaged me in conversation about what our contributions really mean right now at this point in our careers. TLDR: we are more than qualified for higher level positions, given the accolades we have accrued, but how is that going to stand out in a group of boomers and corporate vets who see us as nothing more, or less, than early to mid 20´s number crunchers?
And I kind of agreed with her. Now, I´m not saying that I have a rap sheet that stretches from the Hudson to the James that is chalk full of achievements. Rather, I´m saying that I worked my ass off to be here, and what is there, is there. Nothing more (LOL), and nothing less. Take it or leave it.
We both came to the conclusion that to even attain the success that we desire is going to take years to achieve. But, if we´re being honest, you have to be naive to think that a senior level position is going to fall into your lap not even one year into your job. It´s been 10 months for me, and this is the longest I´ve ever had a full time job to being with. Drinks up for that one, chief!
Circling around to having less eyes on my work at work. My supervisor had a mini-meeting with me in his office today. Although the masks were on, I couldn´t help but notice the goatee that he was sporting on his ID badge. That will be another story for another day. Anyways, he reviewed my work out of my audit range (fine, for the time being), laid down some areas that I could improve on, and ended the conversation with the age old ¨Good work, but...¨
So... what do we have hear? It begins with a C, end with an M, and is the absolute worst thing for people who already live inside of their head M-F during regular business hours.
CRITIC-FUCKING-ISM.
Yes. that´s the one.
I get that I´m not going to be perfect in my first year of work. If you are, you are a unicorn, and should try your hand at investing in the stock market (if you get that reference, you will probably have a chuckle). But there´s something about being told by anybody that you could improve on a certain subject. It´s like you´re telling me that I come into work for 8-9 hours a day, do what is expected of me and often what is not even in my job title, and you are going to sit here, in my face, and criticize my work? On the job? in 2020? DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC? ON A TUESDAY? WHEN THE CLUB IS GOING UP? ON A TUESDAY?
I had to take a deep breath going back to my desk because honestly he didn´t even go in on me like that. He didn´t yell. He didn´t give me any flack. He was simply trying to better my understanding of my work, show me the areas that need improvement, and inform me that he believes my on the job knowledge is where it should be at this point in my career. It only took me reading a Forbes article on how to deal with criticism, Die Lit, two packs of peanut butter crackers, taking out my recycling, and a cup of iced coffee to understand that my world is not falling apart and that my job isn´t fed up with me. If they didn´t care, they wouldn´t be showing me where I could improve. I guess the moral of this story is that criticism sucks, but internalizing it in the wrong way is worse.
The Mitch McConnell slander tweets are providing comedic relief for me today. If they ever regulate Twitter, the real WW3 will happen. Deuces.
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