You would think that based off of people's IG dumps and their captchas that everyone had a weird year. I don't think that's necessarily true. We're getting to the age where a year full of ups and downs is just the new normal. Not so much different from mine in that aspect, but the same in the fact that it did happen.
This post is more of a double-trouble kind of deal since I already let my feelings out on my private insta (yes we're still doing finsta's in 2025), but as a more solidified way of expressing my thoughts and things, this blog shall serve, as a conduit!
I lost plenty of friends last year. No brainer. I think in that I had a lot of time to look at myself as a man, an individual and assess where I stood in all of my relationships. My ex-gf who I still love dearly and am still close (enough) with and I were on the outs and I'd not really adjusted to living in Washington just yet. I didn't (well, still don't) love the people that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Mainly at my place of employment, which, if you haven't noticed, you spend majority of your time at during the week. For me, all of those things colliding all at once was not a good combo at all. Talk about a humongous L.
But in those times at the bottom, where the only place to go is up, you have moments of clarity. And they add up. Going to school in Arlington all those years ago and having pre-existing relationships played in my favor at a degree I wasn't expecting. Lighting a fire under those same relationships that hadn't been tended to during my time in New York was a great thing. Then you realize you have more and more people you know from your actual alma mater who live around you and want to grab a coffee and catch up. And then you join a rec soccer league on a whim and think you're Maradona for a few weeks. And then you realize that Baltimore is a train ride away, or that Philly is just a short Amtrak?
Things started to make sense after a while. You get into the groove of biking to the market on Saturday mornings and stumbling into a museo for an hour or so just because (or to see the only ever Expressionist exhibit from Paris that will only be in the US for the foreseeable future), going to Shaw or the plaza and seeing legends spanning from Pooch to Darren Harper, having a few at your local, linking the next day with some folks to watch the games at another bar; you can kinda see where I'm going.
It'll be 2 years here in a few months. The time has flown by for both good and bad reasons. I don't necessarily relish the negative moments, but I do find solace in knowing that when I thought I was truly alone, that I wasn't alone at all. That's thanks in part to a large list of people that I have no business naming because 1. they don't read this blog and 2. it's not that deep. But also it's thanks in part to me for not giving up on trying to make sense of what my life was then, and even now, and moving accordingly.
Everything, in fact, does happen for a reason.
No comments:
Post a Comment